Shabri Maheshwari - Making Space for Who I Was Becoming

What is your story of becoming a mother?

Becoming a mother was one of the most life-changing experiences of my life. The moment I held my baby for the first time, I felt a mix of overwhelming joy, excitement, and responsibility. As they say, a child gives birth to a mother.

I became a mother at the age of 27, and it was one of the most meaningful milestones in my life. I welcomed my second child at 34. Both of my pregnancies were healthy, and I remained active and physically fit throughout each one.

However, after the birth of my second child, I experienced postpartum anxiety and insomnia. It was an incredibly challenging period for me and my family, as we learned to navigate the emotional and physical demands of recovery. Thankfully, with time, support, and perseverance, things gradually improved. That experience taught me the importance of resilience and seeking help when needed. Looking back, I am grateful we made it through together, proving that while tough times can be difficult, they don't last forever.

Share with us some moments of change in your motherhood journey. It can be either a physical change or a mental change.

One of the biggest turning points in my motherhood journey came after the birth of my first child. I returned to work soon after my maternity leave, and balancing the demands of a full-time job with caring for a young baby was both exhausting and overwhelming.

When my son was 10 months old, my husband received an opportunity to relocate to Singapore. We were excited about this new chapter and decided to make the move. I chose to leave my job so I could dedicate more time to raising my son. I didn't want to miss a single moment of his childhood or any of his precious milestones. Watching him take his first steps, say his first words, and grow each day was something I deeply valued.

The transition was not always easy. Having worked throughout my adult life, it was a significant adjustment to step away from my career and focus on caring for my child and managing our home. There were moments when I questioned my identity beyond work, but over time I embraced this new role. Looking back, I have no regrets. Being present during my son's early years was a gift, and those memories are among the most cherished moments of my motherhood journey.

How does creativity play a role in these moments of change?

Creativity has been a constant source of strength and purpose throughout my motherhood journey. I have always been passionate about the arts, whether through music, painting, or other creative pursuits. I used my first maternity break to take several art courses. This allowed me to reconnect with a long-standing passion. Later, during my second pregnancy, I continued my learning by enrolling in short art courses at NAFA.

What began as a personal interest gradually evolved into a career. The skills I developed through these courses gave me the opportunity to build a flexible profession that allowed me to balance work while being present for my children. Creativity not only gave me a meaningful career but also a sense of identity beyond being a wife and mother. It became a space where I could express myself, continue learning, and grow as an individual, while still prioritising my family. Looking back, embracing my creative side was one of the best decisions I made, as it enriched both my personal life and my journey as a mother.

Creativity not only gave me a meaningful career but also a sense of identity beyond being a wife and mother. It became a space where I could express myself, continue learning, and grow as an individual, while still prioritising my family.

What are some of the obstacles you face when changing?

One of the biggest obstacles I faced was moving to a new country without the support system I had always relied on. Back in India, we were surrounded by family who were always there to help and share the responsibilities of raising a child. In Singapore, it was just my husband and me. Adjusting to a new environment while caring for a young child without that familiar support was both emotionally and physically challenging.

Another challenge was experiencing an identity crisis. Before becoming a mother, I had always been working, and my career was an important part of who I was. After moving, it was difficult to return to full-time work because my husband and I did not feel comfortable leaving our son with a helper or in daycare. As a result, I stayed home and focused on raising him.

There were times when motherhood consumed me completely, and I felt like I had lost a part of myself. While I loved being there for my child, I also missed having an identity beyond my role as a mother.

What additional support, in your opinion, can help mothers embrace better mental well-being?

In my opinion, one of the most important sources of support for a mother's mental well-being is a strong network of family and friends. Having people who listen without judgment, offer encouragement, and provide practical help during difficult times can make a tremendous difference.

I also believe being part of a community of mothers going through similar experiences is incredibly valuable. Whether it's a support group, a parenting community, or simply a circle of friends, connecting with other mothers reminds you that you are not alone in your struggles. Sharing experiences, exchanging advice, and learning from one another can be both comforting and empowering.

Motherhood can sometimes feel isolating, especially during the early years. Knowing others have faced similar challenges and come through them with strength can bring hope and reassurance. Sometimes, just having someone who truly understands what you're going through can be the best support of all.

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About Slowing down, Motherhood:

Slowing Down, Motherhood is a human library (“anthology”, in formal terms) that collects authentic stories of motherhood where art* serves as a catalyst for change. Whether it’s a career switch, a shift in mindset, or a different way of dealing with things, we want to hear the why and how it happened, and what it has brought to motherhood.

Anyone who identifies as a mother can submit up to two stories via this link.

About Mama on Palette:

Mama on Palette is Singapore's first community for mothers who love art. It aims to raise awareness of maternal mental well-being through community-led art programmes and creative storytelling. As a volunteer-run, not-for-profit organisation, Mama on Palette has partnered with various private corporations, grassroots networks, and government bodies to deliver a variety of art exhibitions, events and workshops spotlighting mother artists in Singapore since 2018. Its story was featured on DM International, Channel NewsAsia, The Straits Times, Lianhe Zaobao, The Asianparents, Berita Harian, and recognised as a leading Ground up Movement (GUM) by Singapore Kindness Movement in 2021. Visit them at: www.mamaonpalette.com.